Sam was very late in developing speech. I taught him baby sign language so that we could communicate. Soon after mastering sign language, he learned to speak (about 5-6), he started saying things that were so funny that I had to share them with all my Facebook friends and now I am sharing them with you. Over the years, Sam's little remarks became known as Sam-ism's. As that I over 22 pages of these little gems, I will share a small portion with you. Sam is 16 now and is continuing to make people smile everywhere he goes. He has won awards for pun master at school, and his joke contributions almost always make the morning announcements. I hope you enjoy his very unique perspective.
Homework Help
One day, we were sitting down together at the dining room table. I was helping Sam with his homework. He was writing out sentences and kept forgetting the question marks and periods. After he got done with one sentence, I told him not to forget his punctuation. All of a sudden, he stood up, and he said the pledge of allegiance. Afterward, I explained the difference between punctuation and the pledge of allegiance. -7 years old
Sam was doing his homework one night, and he asked me to hand him his magic pencil. I looked at him, puzzled, and asked what his magic pencil was. He pointed over to the table where his mechanical pencil was sitting. I guess mechanical pencils can be magic pencils. - 8 years old
I made a reset timer bottle for Sam. It is to help him focus on something else when he is frustrated. It has glitter and glue and water. You shake it and watch it settle. I also put in confetti with various shapes in it. We used it during homework time. It seemed like it was working. He took it with him to a friend's house and told them the bottle was for his attitude.- 7 years old
Sam and I were doing some homework, and the assignment was to create a paragraph of things you would have to take if you went somewhere. I try to make it interesting for Sam said: "You should put down you would have to take your Batman costume." He says, "I can't, then the kids in class will know my secret identity."-11 years old
I asked Sam, "If you have six gloves, and each glove has five fingers, how many fingers would that be?" Sam informed me there not five fingers in a glove; there are only four with one thumb.- 8 years old
I was watching Sam do his homework. I pointed to the "d" in the word 'done,' and I told him it looked a little odd. He looked at me and said it was even because there were four letters in "done."- 7 years old
Sam was home with a cold one day. He asked if UPS can get his homework from school.- 8 years old
Sam spent some time with Grandma yesterday. She made him his usual sandwich (peanut butter and honey) on whole-wheat bread. Up to this point in his life, he had sandwiches on hot dog buns because there was no crust. He looked at the bread and said: "Yum, chocolate bread."-10 years old
I picked up Sam from Awana, and he had a sucker in his mouth. He told me it was roast beef. I was confused until my brain engaged, and I whispered: "Did you mean root beer?" -11 years old
Food Fun
Making Sam's lunch one morning, he looked at the bag in which the bread was in and found it was French bread. He then said, "Bonjour." I asked him if he was saying hi to the bread. He looked at me puzzled; he said no, the bread was saying hi to him.-10 years old
I came home, and there Sam was eating his Mac and cheese that he made himself. He said that his imaginary friend, "Luke," made it. - 13 years old
Logic and Other Thoughts
I started growing some apricot trees from seed. They are about 4 inches tall now and healthy, but unfortunately, our cat seems to think they are tasty. I started to put cups on the trees overnight to keep the cat away from them. Sam looked at the cups and told me, "what a great idea." Then he said, "I was thinking of video cameras and a laser gate." - 7 years old
Sam and I were dusting today, and he came across a puzzle rock (It looks like a rock but is a puzzle you put together). It, of course, fell apart. Sam did pretty good putting it back together but couldn't get the last pieces in. He walked away from it, muttering, "it should have a warning label."-11 years old
Sam and I went to the store after school today. While we were driving there, a dog ran out into the road and tried to grab one of my tires. Sam muttered, "We should get that dog's license."-11 years old
Sam and I were watching Herbie goes to Monte Carlo. At one point, one of the drivers was looking in his mirror at Herbie, coming up behind him. Sam pointed out the mirror reflection wasn't correct. You could read 53. "it isn't scientific what they did, because mirrors have a science." -12 years old
This morning I was using the top of my hubby's lunch bag as a mouth trying to talk to Sam (trying to get him to smile, think sock puppet except for lunch bag). The lunch bag said hi several times. Finally, Sam looks at it and says, "My mom says I can't talk to strangers." - 12 years old
I am standing in line at the pharmacy. I gave them my birth date, and one of the girls said: "Oh, it is almost your birthday." The crowd around was smiling and nodding. Sam pipes up and says, "It's her twins birthday too!" More smiling and happy looks. Then Sam adds, "She is going to be 44!". DEAD SILENCE and shocked looks!!! Then a man behind me says, "Dude, I don't think you should have said that!". Sam had a puzzled look on his face. That broke the dam, I started to laugh, and everyone else laughed with me. A little while later, Sam pipes up, "And my dad is 51!"-12 years old
